“Love is not a happy accident. It is a choice”

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘falling out of love’? We hear it all the time in movies and television shows.  People fall out of love and then they break up or get divorced. Like falling out of love was not a choice but just something that just happened to them.  If this is the case then falling in love is also something that just happens to us, we have no choices in who we love. Its okay then to love whomever you happen to fall in love with and to dump, so to speak, whomever you fall out of love with. No questions asked.

WRONG. “Love is not a happy accident. It is a choice (Goddard, Pg. 83).” Every time we fall in or out of love it is because of a choice that we made along the way.  Falling in love or falling out of love, is not something that just happens to you. Falling in and out of love happens over time, with the decisions that are made to turn towards or away from our partners.  The more we have turned away from our partners and the more that we do not think of them with fondness and admiration, the easier it is for the love to slip away.  It is all in the effort that we put into our relationship to determine if we will fall out of love.

When we center our lives around our Heavenly Father and Savior, love is easy to accomplish.  Their whole goal was to bring us happiness and love. When we know this, it is easy to show love for those around us.  Dr. Goddard, in his book Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage said, “When we humbly turn our minds, our lives, and our purpose over to God, He will refine us. We begin to see with new eyes. We feel with new warmth and goodness. We gladly give our time and energy to bless those around us--especially those with whom we have made covenants (Goddard, Pg. 79).” Wow.  When I am living with my life turned over to God, I will gladly give of myself for others, especially my spouse!  I need to do better at turning my life over to God!

Since we own our own business, we are responsible for making sure the work gets done.  Hubby usually goes out on jobs by himself but since young P is in school now, I have more time to help him. This week in particular I did not feel like going out to work with him but since I am trying to turn my life over to God and be glad in giving of myself, I went with him.  We had some great conversations and fun times during the week. 

I have also been working more on turning my life over to God.  Both with my husband and by myself. My scripture study and prayers had been lacking, but I have been putting in more effort to study and ponder the scriptures so that I can use them daily in my life.  I have also been putting forth effort to have scripture study and prayer with my husband. When I am having scripture study and prayer both alone and with my spouse, I feel happier.  I feel closer to God and it is easier to make good choices because I am glad to do so!

It may be hard to change who we are but it is a choice and with that choice, we can choose to fall in or out of love with our spouses. Make the change and the choice, it will be worth it!

References:

Goddard, H. W. (2009). Drawing heaven into your marriage: eternal doctrines that change relationships. Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing.